June 9, 2008

First Added Pound

Posted in Baby Firsts at 11:00 am by

The latest medical report comes in, and the news is good.  Very good.  Blake put on eighteen (or nineteen) ounces in a week’s time, making him the fastest growing baby ever.  There’s some dispute over whether the last ounce should count, given that shortly after the trip to the scales, Blake ejected approximately one fluid ounce of milk on my sweater and pants.

I wish people got this excited when I put on weight.  Because one pound in a week is laughable, son.

Blake comports himself like a trooper during his blood draw.  No crying, no screaming, no fuss.  At least for the first minute, until I pass out and the medics arrive with the crash cart.  My memory gets a bit fuzzy after that.

June 7, 2008

Fashion Model

Posted in Special Moments at 11:30 am by

Blake flaunts the latest styles from Milan.

  • A tasteful nude top, with white boyshorts and knee-high blue socks.
  • A fabulous designer Onesie, hand-stitched by orphans from Calcutta.
  • A handsome peasant blouse, with an Oriental agrarian sensibility.

Caution: film contains graphic images of cartoon locusts, which may not be suitable for all audiences.

June 5, 2008

One Week Old

Posted in Special Moments at 9:15 pm by

Mom and I discuss how Blake’s choices influence the clothes he wears.  What’s not as clear is how he’s also to blame for my own crimes against fashion: namely, the five days of stubble and the Windows XP Service Pack 2 shirt.

Playing in the Gymini

Posted in Product Placement at 10:30 am by

Blake puts his Tiny Love Gymini Super Deluxe through its paces.  He’s not exactly sure what to do – we don’t have a cat to show him how to use it – but he’s having fun.

Special thanks to honorary uncle Larry for starting Blake on the path to athletic genius.

June 3, 2008

How (Not) to Burp Your Baby

Posted in Special Moments at 9:00 pm by

This burping technique came highly recommended by our pediatrician.  If anything, he was even more reckless about applying it.  He had just one piece of advice.

Don’t worry about the head.

Uh, OK.  Sure thing.  But what he didn’t say – what he should’ve said – was this.

Don’t let anyone else watch.

Oops.

It’s a good thing this blog is totally anonymous, or videos like this might get me in real trouble.